Hospitals for me have always been a trying and dramatic climax to one of my many illnesses or disorders that doctors have diagnosed me with. So when it came to having my baby I wanted a natural calm experience. I chose Sage Femme Midwifery Center as the place to meet my wishes. I wanted a non medicated, un harsh water birth for my baby.
Unfortunately due to my seizure disorder and other issues, I could not have that. My midwife Judy worked with me during my pregnancy to get over my fears of hospitals and to just focus on delivering a healthy baby. I am so thankful for Tabatha, our birth class instructor and for everyone at Sage Femme.
My birth story starts at 8:00 am on Tuesday January 18th 2011. I woke up with menstrual like cramps and was so excited! I had several false alarms with Braxton Hicks and didn’t want to be tricked again so I tried really hard not to get my hopes up! I was four days away from my due date and SO ready for it. For the rest of the morning I was giddy with excitement and disillusion every time I had a cramp. I would be “ yes this could be it!” and then next contraction i would be “ ah, i’m such a faker, this is all fake!!!”.
At noon I decided to take a bath, normally with my Braxton Hicks a bath would take away the pain and stop the contractions. I made a nice warm oatmeal bath and waited patiently for my contractions to stop in the water. They didn’t. I WAS SO EXCITED! Deep inside I was still convinced I was making it up. HA.
Fate was on my side since I had an appointment with my midwife at three that day anyway. So if it was a false alarm, i didn’t bother anyone!
My husband Oliver was really excited and convinced it was the real deal. He kept taking pictures, I really didn’t want to get my hopes up and told him “ we don’t need photos of a false alarm”.He would reply, “ this isn’t fake, I know your faces during Braxton Hicks, this is different!!”
On the way to the appointment ( we live in Tracy about an hour and a half away from Sage Femme) my contractions kept coming 4-8 minutes apart. I remember thinking, I might come home with a baby, a REAL BABY! I kept laughing and crying all at the same time. Once at the Birth Center I sat patiently (through contractions) while Judi wrapped up a session with another client. She checked me and I was dilated to one cm (had been for weeks) and not effaced. When I heard this, I was CONVINCED I was faking it. She told me that I was in early labor and to get a hotel and labor in San Fran before going to the hospital. Oli then went outside to call hotels. While waiting I sat with a couple that I had birth class with who had recently had their baby girl through a natural labor and delivery. They helped me get through my contractions with breathing techniques and counter pressure techniques for my back pain. Braydon was in posterior position and boy did that hurt! It felt like every time I had a contraction my back was going to break into a million little pieces. I was so grateful to have them there with me in what I tenderly called my cubby hole. It was just a darker area of the birth center with a nice cold floor and a sofa, I chose the floor to get through contractions. I felt so safe and secure in there, every time I had to get up to use the bathroom I was pissed that I had to leave my cubby hole. Pregnant women are insane, rather, I was an insane pregnant woman! I remember Judi was speaking to me and giving me tips on how to handle the contractions. The rest of the time at the center is blurred and hazy. The next thing I really remember is waking up in an ambulance with five rather handsome and burly men asking me my name and age and what day it was. I slowly concluded that I had had a seizure and figured Judi, or someone had called the paramedics. I later found out that I had four seizures and Judi had told me that she was going to send me to the hospital, I do not remember any of that, only waking up in the ambulance with the hunks. I remember one of the cutie pies asking me how I was feeling and telling me that I was calmer than he was. He took my pulse and kept saying that it was slower than his and he apparently found that very comical. I couldn’t see Oliver anywhere but knew he must be close by somewhere. One thing I have learned about medical dramas, FREAKING out makes it so much worst. So I just kept deep breathing and using my tonal exercises to get through each contraction and the bumpy hill of San Francisco. At this point the hunks said my contractions were one minute apart and told me “ DO NOT PUSH, WE DO NOT WANT TO DELIVER A BABY IN THIS BOX”. I laughed. I knew I was in early labor and my contractions probably sped up due to stress. I assured them that i wouldn’t push.Oliver finally made his appearance and told me he was in the front of the ambulance the whole time, they wouldn’t let him in the back with me. I can only imagine how freaked he was. He knows my seizures quite well, but being away from me must have been hard on him.
Once in the hospital ER they took me into this operating like room and I swear it seamed like 100 people were in there. I know most of them introduced themselves to me but it was VERY over whelming and very freaky. They took my blood pressure and said it was very high. I still don’t know what the number was but they were freaking out. They put an IV in and monitored the baby’s hear rate. One of the head doctors started ordering Magnesium Sulfate and Oliver immediately tried to intervene. Oliver and I spent a long time discussing and planning my labor. We agreed that I would not have any interventions unless 100% necessary. He asked the doctor what Magnesium Sulfate was and why I needed it. The doctor then went on to explain that I was probably pre-eclamptic and they needed to stop the seizures. Oliver then tried to explain to the doctor that I had a Psychological disorder; a stress disorder that causes me to have seizures when under too much emotional stress, in example, LABOR. The doctor was kind enough but basically ignored him and said “ it is necessary, if it is eclampsia, your wife and child are at risk...” I tuned out the rest. I knew i wasn’t pre-eclamptic, I knew what I had. I knew I was just having my standard seizures. No one would listen, it was SO OVERWHELMING. So I just kind of hid in myself for a while to cope. I don’t really remember much more until we were in the labor room and I was fully hooked up to monitors, blood pressure machines, and of course, Magnesium Sulfate. The plus side to my story is that i got AN AMAZING room with an INCREDIBLE view. It was the mid evening by the time I got in to the labor room and all the city lights were shining outside my window. It helped me stay calm to see all the twinkling lights and know that the world was moving and grooving outside and that this was not the end of the world. I would just labor here, have my baby and BOOK IT.
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My doula Shannon, or who I like to now refer to as, SUPER DOULA, came around eight and began to help me through my early labor contractions. We were up all night. Oliver and my close friend Jason were also there with me, up all night helping me by distracting me with jokes and over all ridiculousness, I remember at one point they were looking at the heart and contraction monitor screen and just saying the silliest things to make me and shannon laugh. Ah, early labor, I COULD STILL LAUGH! Shannon tried to explain to me that I was still in early labor and when I progressed to active labor I would know. I would no longer be so animated and talkative in between contractions. I remember watching the sun rise as I went through a pretty strong contraction, it was so intense! I was sure i was progressing! I remember Dr Juno, the night shift doctor came in and told me that she wanted to send me home but because of all my issues she had to keep me and warned me that the day shift doctors were very excitable and loved interesting cases like mine. She told me to be prepared for a landslide of opinions and options to deal with my case. When she left i told Oliver I didn’t like her too much.
An hour later my contractions stopped completely. I WAS DEVASTATED. I convinced myself that all of this was another round of what I called “False Labor”. My midwife explained to me the day before that there was no false labor, just Braxton Hicks. But I was convinced I had FAKED it. Or rather, my body had. I began crying to oliver and being really moody.I was already exhausted from my seizures. Plus the magnesium sulfate was irritating my veins and made me very swollen.
I felt so trapped! I just wanted to go to a hotel and sleep. I had been up all night and was prepared to have a baby, nowI wasn’t even cramping! Yet I couldn’t go home because the doctors wanted to monitor me and my baby’s heart rates and blood pressure check me every hour as well as draw blood and collect my urine for protein. They said I had to stay until that evening until the results came in.
My contractions started again an hour after they had dissipated. Shannon told me that this was a gift, a break and I should be happy about that, because I probably wouldn’t get another one.She told me I was faking it and that it really was labor. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and saying “ wow, will you make up your mind already?”
The day shift doctors came in and Doctor Juno was absolutely right about them. They were so excited about my case and told me so! They said that they loved interesting cases and could not wait to get to the “meat and potatoes” of my case. ?!?!?!
They were all very nice and capable, I knew that, but I was moody and tired. They came in and checked my dilation around 10 am and saw that I was a one and a half or a 2. Depending on finger size. I was proud of that maybe 2. I was so tired and realized I had been at this since the day before but I had renewed hope with that maybe 2.
They later came in and told me they wanted to put me on Pitocin to get this labor moving. They said I was already tired and needed to be helped a little bit. I said alright, but only if I didn’t get any pain meds with it. They agreed. But first they had to wait for me to get to a 4cm dilation. HA. So they decided to put a balloon catheter inside me to ripen my cervix and encourage it to dilate. When my cervix was dilated to a 4 the balloon would pop out. It took about an hour and a half to two hours for the balloon to fall out. I was super excited! At around noon they started the Pitocin drip. These contractions are VERY different from natural ones. Normally you get a nice slow start to the contraction a peak and and weakening at the end. With Pitocin they come on hard and strong. BAM.
The rest of the day is hard for me to remember. I just know I went through my contractions with Oliver, Jason and Shannon doting on my every need. THANK GOODNESS. Shannon and Oliver started the strong counter pressure on my back to help with the pain of back labor. Oliver told me later that at one point Shannon’s hands were numb and asleep and I would just shout HARDER HARDER! She never complained once- what a trooper. Jason would bring me cold cloths for my head every few minutes. I would try different positions in bed, in the rocking chair, on the birth ball, I even tried the floor. I managed to deal with the pain until about two in the morning when I felt so tired I thought I was going to die! The pain was so intense I just didn’t know what to do. Oliver and I had an agreement that I would go to him if I needed pain meds, he would not ask me. Well, since he saw me in so much pain, he begged me to ask for my options in pain management, I refused, i believed I was near the end of this ordeal and wanted to continue trying.
Dr. Juno was back on call and told me that if I ever felt the need to take a giant bowel movement or to push to call her in. At about 2 in the morning, I NEEDED TO PUSH! I was so excited! THIS WAS IT!! After more than 36 hours I was going to have the baby! The doctors rushed in and checked me. I couldn’t wait.
Dr Juno looked up from her position and said with a very heart felt look, Don’t push, you are only dilated to five, but the good news is, you are in active labor!
I looked at her, then to oliver and burst into tears. FIVE! I was only half way there? WHAT!? They had put me on Pitocin and gave me a balloon Catheter over 14 hours ago and only a FIVE?!
Dr. Juno told me that I had done so well and not to feel bad, first time labors can be really long and really hard. She said to look at how far I’ve come and not at how far I had left. I looked at Oliver and then at shannon and I saw how tired they were and I knew how tired I felt. I decided to ask for an Epidural. Now, this is a huge thing for me. I was determined, ABSOLUTELY determined not to get any help. I felt guilty and like a failure. But the pain was so bad, I decided it was time for me to get some help with the pain and hopefully I could sleep for the first time in 43 hours. The Epidural wasn’t painful but holding still during contractions was. Luckily, Shannon let me squeeze her fist until oblivion.
Once the Epidural kicked in I fell asleep immediately. One hour later I woke up to Dr. Juno checking my cervix. I was dilated to 8cm and 80 percent effaced. IN ONE HOUR!!! She told me it was probably because I had gotten some rest. An hour later I woke again to Dr Juno, but this time she put oxygen on me and said the baby’s heart rate was struggling. I was so worried and hoped I had progressed enough to push. She checked again and I was dilated to 9.5 and almost completely effaced. She called everyone into the room and said it was almost time. Oliver called Shannon, Oliver’s sister Pia, and Jason and told them the great news. At this point they had left to find somewhere to sleep (car, lobby etc.). The rest happened so fast in my memory. She broke my bag of waters with a big explosion, she got covered! She was such a good sport about it. She laughed and said, you polly (polyhydramnios) patients always get me soaked! I pushed for an hour and a half to the rising sun. 41 hours after my early labor began, 50 hours after my pre labor began, Braydon Oliver Talamayan was born! He was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck once and was unresponsive at first. It was really scary to see his limp body removed from me but after removing the cord and some amniotic fluid and meconium from his lungs, he screamed and was completely fine! Oliver was so great during this whole experience, he was terrified of blood and needles but was always 100% there for me, even with a 102 degree fever and bacterial infection of his throat. During the delivery, he would turn his head away but did manage to peak at Braydons head while crowning. Ha. Ha. I only had 2nd degree tearing and Dr Juno sutured me quickly and I was able to have skin to skin contact with Braydon almost immediately. I remember looking into my Brady’s eyes and feeling so much love, so much more love than I have ever felt before. I WAS A MOM!!!
I stayed in the hospital for two days after the labor and the doctors diagnosed me with Eclampsia even though all of the urine and blood tests came back negative. On the day of discharge when they finally took me off the pitocin and the magnesium I was in heaven! NO MORE SWELLING AND BURNING VEINS!
Overall I have to say that UCSF was an amazing hospital with doctors who really took the time and effort to make sure to try to follow my birth plan, even with all the chaos.
And I ended up loving dr. Juno. First impressions are sometimes wrong.
