My body did show signs of working on labor- lost mucus plug, “bloody show” and some contraction like feelings. Often it was one or two contractions a day or an hour that seemed promising and then…nothing. Given I was now 41 weeks and 4 days, an induction was scheduled at Kaiser for January 31st when I would be 42 weeks and no longer able to use the birth center. We were both struggling with feeling down about this. However, on Wednesday (January 27th) things started to look up. I began having some contractions at a movie and instead of going away; they stayed through the afternoon and dinner- about every 10-15 minutes.
After dinner (around 8pm), Sarah and I began timing the contractions and found they were about 5-7 minutes apart and fairly intense- enough that I couldn’t talk when they peaked. Sarah called our doula, Britt, and the midwife at the birth center (Judi) to let them know things seemed to be underway. We all agreed that the best plan was to try to sleep as much as we could at that point. We lay down and I could sort of relax between contractions but by 9pm, I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. Part of this was feeling so excited and relieved that things were finally happening. As the night progressed, the contractions intensified and moved closer together. I was also having nausea, diarrhea, and more bloody show. All signs were pointing to labor. By 2am, the contractions were 5 minutes apart and I was working hard (with Sarah’s wonderful support) to get through them. I often used the word “wow” with my breaths as this kept my mouth open, although sounded pretty funny- ie, “wow, wow, wow, wow.” Sarah called Britt to come over around 4am to help both us with more techniques, as things kept getting more intense. Britt was great- she reminded me not just about things to help through each contraction (like “meeting each surge with a breath”) but also helped me focus on letting go and relaxing between contractions. Britt also had Sarah sleep for a bit while she sat with me in the bathroom.
However, not long after Britt arrived, things started to change. The contractions slowed from every 5 to 7 minutes and by 6am or so were10 minutes apart. I apologized to Britt about this which made her laugh and say to me, “Oh yes, because you have so much control over this.” By 7am,with surges 10-15 minutes apart, Britt left, reminding us to rest as much as possible during the day. Both Sarah and I slept on/off for a few hours and then were awake. And so, after thinking we were going into labor Wednesday, we went back to the waiting game. Thursday passed at a snail’s pace with a contraction every 10 to 20 minutes, many of which were only mild/mod intensity. I worried that I would be in this phase for four days and then be induced at Kaiser. Sarah was wonderfully supportive and Britt reminded us through a few phone calls that this was a common/normal pattern for first time moms, but I still cried off/on in frustration and exhaustion because I really couldn’t ever sleep.
At 8pm on Thursday night and with contractions still lingering at 10-15 minutes apart, Judi (the midwife) recommended that I take two benadryl with the goal of sleeping for the night and seeing where things were in the morning. At first we were hesitant, but after talking to Britt who agreed that it was a good idea, we gave into the idea that this was not going to be the night. I took the benadryl and a warm bath and we lay down to sleep around 9pm. By 10pm, I found myself thinking “Wow. This benadryl plan is really not working” as I was having contractions that were feeling closer together and very intense (“WOW”). I told Sarah around 11pm that I couldn’t be in bed as the contractions were too painful and we moved to the bathroom where I sat on the toilet, which felt like the best position. The contractions were very intense now and Sarah started timing and realized that they were between 3-5minutes apart…and then by 12am around 2-3 minutes apart.
Although this probably sounds like clear, obvious labor, we were both still in disbelief given the long wait and the Wednesday night experience. Sarah called Britt and Judi at around 12:15am and let them know we seemed to be in labor but gave a cautious report since we were both still wondering if this was really it or if things might suddenly slow down. Both of them congratulated us and encouraged us to keep it up and call back as necessary. I decided to try the shower around 12:30. The water helped but I felt like the contractions were nearly on top of each other (1-3 minutes apart) and got out after about 20 minutes. After a few more contractions on the toilet, I told Sarah that I needed to try the bed again. As soon as I lay down, I began to feel strong pressure in my rectum with an urge to push. Any hesitation to report my symptoms left Sarah as she remembered Britt telling her to call immediately if I felt an urge to push. Britt commented on our “quick progress,” said she was coming over immediately and told Sarah to have me get on all fours. She also said that I should not push but instead to breathe through these sensations as if I were blowing out birthday candles. I tried this and it helped for a few minutes but soon I felt like my body was taking over and pushing on its own. I turned to Sarah (who described the look on my face as “total panic”) and said, “I can’t stop pushing!” She called Britt back who told her to go wash her hands and put a finger inside me to see if she could feel the head. Sarah stayed very calm with me, even though she and I were both thinking: “Are we about to give birth alone in our house?” I felt Sarah feel inside of me and then quickly pull out. I heard her tell Britt that she had felt the head! Britt told Sarah to get our things together to be ready to go when she arrived. Sarah also called Judi at the birth center to tell her we were coming.
Later, I learned that Judi was skeptical that we needed to come, probably due to the fact she’d only had one phone call up to this point (not long before saying contractions were 3-5 minutes). Sarah basically told her that I was feeling an urge to push and that we were coming no matter what. At about 1:45am Britt arrived and said very calmly, “OK Karyn, we are going to go. Here we go.” I stood up feeling in shock and also totally focused on getting to the birth center. I put on a bathrobe and flip flops on and we were out the door. We walked outside to Britt’s SUV where she had opened the back and had me get on all fours in the back and then had Sarah hold her hand against my butt/vagina to provide some counter pressure to the feeling to push. This helped me feel a bit more in control but admittedly I thought about what it was going to be like to deliver my baby in the back of an SUV!!
We sped through Noe Valley and the Mission and arrived at the birth center. The birth center is located at Capp and 17th, which is not exactly the best block in the city. There were homeless people sleeping on the street, hipsters coming out the bars which had just closed at 2am and there I was standing naked in an open bathrobe and flip flops on Capp St.! Britt turned to me and said, “It’s not the first time they saw titties on Capp Street.” To make things more dramatic, the doorbell of the birth center had been stolen, so we were banging on the door to let Judi know we were there. Judi opened the door, looking very calm and, still very doubtful that I really needed to be there. We went to the exam room and Judi was quickly convinced when she examined me, as she felt the baby’s head and said I was 7cm dilated and “very stretchy.” She went and prepared the birth room, including filling up the birthing tub, which I desperately wanted to be in. She also called the student midwife, Jessica, who we really loved, to tell her it was time to come.
Everyone kept telling me not to push, which was confusing because my body just felt like it pushed on its own every few minutes. While I waited for the birth tub to fill, I was on all fours in the birthing room when I heard everyone start saying, “Cool! Look at that!” Part of my bag of waters was coming out of my vagina and not breaking but instead hanging out of me like a water balloon! Next I got into the birthing tub. Judi told me not to push but also said “Your body is going to do what it is going to do” and that I just shouldn’t help it. So for about an hour I just breathed, made animal noises, and “wow”ed my way through the pushing urge and then focused on relaxation with break. Sarah and Britt were wonderful, especially at helping me to relax, pointing out one part of my body to release (ie, “open and relax your fists”). We had music on at this point (“Hurts So Good” was the first song that came on) and I was feeling relieved that my baby had not been born at our house, in the back of an SUV or on Capp Street.
Finally, at about 3:45am, Jessica (the student midwife who had arrived) told me that it was OK for me to start pushing into the contractions. I was relieved and also felt my total animal instincts release. I let out growls, grunts and all kinds of noises I didn’t know I had in me! After about 45 minutes or an hour, they let me know that they could see about a quarter-sized part of the baby’s head. I was lying back in the birthing tub at this point and Judi suggested that I switch to a squatting position to push. I did this and had 4-5 really hard engaged pushes. Sarah was standing behind me to help me remember not to arch my back when I pushed but instead to curl forward and focus downward. I pushed a few more times and still they could only see about a quarter size portion of head.
I rested and then really pushed, bearing down with everything I had…and all of the sudden started saying “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit” and with that, my water broke and I heard a plop! The baby had literally shot out of me with the water like it was a water slide and somersaulted gracefully into the birthing tub! No one caught her because no one thought she was about to come! Britt called out “There’s the baby!” and Jessica scooped her out of the water and put her on my chest. We all were looking at each other in shock and Sarah and I were saying “What? What?” because it had all happened so fast. At that point, I asked if it was a boy or girl and Judi said, “We don’t even know yet.” So I lifted her away from me a bit and looked at my little girl! I kept saying “I can’t believe you are a girl” because so many people were convinced we were having a boy. Sarah cut the cord a few minutes later and we both held Quinn in the tub.
I can’t really describe the moment in a way that conveys how amazing it was. Both Sarah and I were overcome with pride, joy, love and just amazement at how our little girl had waited so long to enter the world and then arrived in torpedo fashion (just 3 hours after we arrived at the birth center)! We were even more amazed when we learned she was 9lbs and 1oz and 21 and ½ inches long! The experience was totally empowering for me and I spent the next 24 hours feeling like I was high beyond belief despite the fact that I had pretty bad bruising and required 5 sutures because of Quinn’s lightening speed entrance.
The days since the birth have been amazing- we are learning about Quinn every day and I’m learning how to let my body take time to recover. I feel like I really had the birth I wanted and feel so lucky to have the support/guidance of so many amazing people who both helped me prepare well and then engage in the labor/delivery in ways that really worked.
