I woke up at 6:45am on December 29th with period like cramps. I’d been having them on and off since the 24th, but nothing I’d actually consider painful. I decided to get up and go sit on the couch and watch a movie. They kept coming on, so I started to time them. About an hour later, they’d been coming on every 3-5 minutes and lasting between 45 and 60 seconds. I texted Jessica, my best friend and birth partner, and told her I thought I was in labor, but I wasn’t getting too excited about it. I didn’t want to get everyone worked up for nothing! She contacted my doula on the way over, only to find out she was sick and unable to assist with my birth. She called my midwife, Judi Tinkelenberg, who advised I should take a shower or bath to see if the contractions became more regular. At that very moment, a city worker was outside shutting off the water to my apartment and replacing pipes. Worst timing ever! When it got turned back on, the water was all gross and yellow. Jess tried running the water until it got clear, but I was convinced I could do it better than her. After about a half hour, I gave in and just took a hot shower, letting the water hit my lower back and it felt awesome through the early contractions.
Then the water got to be lukewarm. Things intensified. Weeks early, my birth partner and I decided that spaghetti would be my code word for needing drugs. I said spaghetti. I needed spaghetti! We called Judi and she said I should get out of the shower and move around, and in 15 minutes to come into the birth center for an exam. I was so against this. I argued the entire time not understanding why I couldn’t just go straight to the hospital.
We got to the birth center, Sage Femme Midwifery, at 11:20am and I had the first real cervical exam of the pregnancy. I learned I was 100% effaced but only dilated 2cm. I was so worried I was going to get sent back home. Judi asked what was going on, and I told her I was scared because things hurt so much then, I didn’t know how I could handle what was to come. She suggested I lay down for another few contractions, and she’d come see me in 45 minutes. She did let me know I should think about what I’d be giving up if I went to the hospital, after all this preparation for a natural birth, but that there’d be no judgment at all.
45 minutes later, my body was trying to push and I was making weird squirrely sounds I couldn’t control. I was vocalizing with low groans up to that point, trying to get the hang of it. Judi came in and insisted on checking me again. I was dilated to 5cm at this point so the assistant midwife went to set up one of the birthing rooms for me. The walk over there felt like it took forever, and I had to stop while having a contraction on the way there. I laid down on my side, on the bed as soon as I got in, and asked for the water to be drawn in the labor tub. I had it in my mind that the tub and warm water was going to make all the pain go away. I had another contraction and with that one, my water broke with a pop and a big gush. I lost my mucus plug just before this.
After the water was drawn, I got in and was sad to realize my pain was still there. The pain was more of a deep pressure feeling. It was pretty awful, but I managed to get through the contractions thanks to vocalizing. As the pain increased, my low groans would just get louder. I was really surprised to find out that that was the comfort measure that worked for me. When I practiced it in class, it felt way awkward. But the majority of other things I had practiced were completely out the door. Massage wasn’t doing a thing for me. I’d want to be touched, but then snap at being touched. The worst part was actually the fact that I was having back labor from my posterior baby. One good thing the labor tub did do was relax me between each contraction, which was super important for keeping my strength and momentum going. I was able to ease out of each contraction and focus inward to rest.
I have no idea how much time passed, but Judi was guiding me through contractions and having me open my pelvis on each side via a kneeled squat and after alternating sides 5 times, I was out. I said spaghetti. I couldn’t take it anymore. Judi then explained that I was in transition, and if I wanted to go to the hospital, that was okay but that I probably wouldn’t have time for an epidural anyway but worse yet, I’d likely just deliver in the car because I was so close. I knew then that I had to get through this, and it was almost done. I was asked where I wanted to push and shockingly (for me), I chose the bed. On my back.
The pushing stage was the most difficult for me. I tried pushing on my side, but it seemed my back worked best given the baby’s position. When Judi checked to see where I was, there was just a tiny lip of cervix she wanted to push over the baby’s head. Then she needed to turn the baby to help ease my back labor. It took a bit to get the hang of pushing the right way. I was sure each time I pushed, I wasn’t doing anything. I can’t saying I can’t do it, and at one point I got a bit screamy. Judi said I know you want to scream, but take all that and channel it out your bottom. So I did. Oh god, did I ever. They had me pulling up on my thighs with each contraction. My legs were shaking SO much.
I decided it was too hot so I had a wet washcloth put over my eyes. This was the best thing I could possibly do. I was able to go inward and just focus on Judi’s words. The baby’s head was crowning so her instructions to breathe and push gently were really important. Somehow, much to my disbelief, I was able to actually follow her words and gently push out her head. Of course, as soon as her head popped out, I was overwhelmed and just pushed so her shoulders came out tearing me a bit.
At 2:32pm, she was born. 3 hours after I got to the birth center. When they had me reach down and grab my baby, I had no idea what I was grabbing onto. I was a little freaked out and everything was kind of surreal. There was a bit of panic because Ruby hadn’t cried at all. Her breathing ended up being fine though, she just didn’t feel like crying! She didn’t even cry when she got her vitamin k shot.
Unfortunately, things got a bit complicated for me when it came time to birth the placenta. I think it broke apart or something but there was hemorrhaging. I had a shot of pitocin but that didn’t help as much as it should have, so I had to have another shot of something else in the other leg. I can’t remember at all what it was, but I was also given 4 pills to take over the next 24 hours. Because my labor was so quick, my uterus freaked out and couldn’t contract back down to size properly. Thankfully, the hemorrhage was mostly under control an hour or so later. I also had to have stitches for my tear.
Once I got more comfortable, Ruby was latching and eating like a little champ. I felt amazing. Sure, my ladyparts felt pretty rough, but it wasn’t as painful as I expected. I know I had massive amounts of endorphins going through my body after going through labor drug free. I’m so proud of myself for trusting my body and laboring positively. I’m so glad I didn’t give in and I was able to get the birth I wanted. I’m so grateful for Judi, my birthing team, Fiona and especially Jessica. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to do it without having my best friend there. Despite the complications and quick, intense labor, it was perfect.
At 6:30pm, I was up and getting ready to leave with my baby. By 7:00pm, I was home and cheering my friends with champagne. 12 hours from start to finish.
And from today, 2 weeks post-birth.
For more photos from the birth, check out my flickr set.
